The Important Link Between Disordered Eating Recovery + Emotion Regulation

If you’ve been drawn to read this blog post then you’re probably well aware that disordered eating recovery is a challenging and complex process that involves much more than decisions about what and when to eat. As an eating disorder and attachment-focussed therapist for over 10 years, I can tell you that recovery from disordered eating requires one’s ability to name, feel and regulate emotions - with and without food. Let’s get into it!

What is emotion regulation?

Emotion regulation is the ability to recognize and cope with emotions in a way that is healthy and feels self-compassionate. Developing coping skills or tools to ride the wave of emotions rather than trying to control, avoid or suppress them is essential. The way that we learn to experience and cope with emotions often happens in childhood, and has a lot to do with attachment to our primary caregivers. Sometimes as adults we need to learn healthy strategies for feeling feelings for the first time.

How is emotion regulation connected to eating?

For many, eating food can be a powerful regulator of intense emotion - temporarily. Eating can numb emotions like anxiety, loneliness or anger; it can provide a sense of control or distraction through restriction; and it can provide relief from feelings like guilt and shame.  The problem is that when emotion regulation with food is the only method of coping, behaviours like bingeing, purging and restricting end up causing more intense emotions and harmful cycles that are not sustainable. In therapy language this is called a maladaptive coping strategy. If you never learned how to cope with your emotions in a healthy way, and you’ve been relying on harmful behaviours with food instead, then your body figured out a way to keep you afloat! It’s important to recognize and appreciate the coping strategies that we develop, and also when they’ve become harmful so old methods can be replaced with new, healthier ways.

Why are emotion regulation skills that do not involve food are important?

Developing a range of coping skills and healthy regulation strategies is important, so that food and eating can be enjoyable again and harmful cycles can stop. Relying on healthy coping strategies to manage difficult emotions can slowly improve one’s relationship with food so that it is no longer impulsive and harmful. 

How to strengthen emotion regulation skills?

A good place to start is to think about the things you already do that make you feel good, like a hot shower or bath, being outside, calling a friend, taking deep breaths or watching a funny video. With awareness and presence of mind you can start to do these caring actions when you’re experiencing a difficult emotion. Start simple and with the help of a therapist, you can start to build up your emotion regulation tool kit little by little according to your own unique needs and history.This can be challenging and a slow process, so it’s a great opportunity to practice self-compassion and patience.

Working with a therapist trained in both eating disorder treatment and other evidence-based therapeutic modalities can support you to develop emotion regulation skills and improve your relationship with food and yourself. Disordered eating recovery isn’t just about willpower or food choices, it is deeply connected to how we experience and cope with emotions. 

If you’d like to discuss treatment options for disordered eating, please reach out to schedule a free consultation today by clicking on ‘book’ at the top of the page.